Au Revoir, October

Oh, October.  I had such high hopes for us this year.  Remember at the end of September when I was telling you about all the scary books we were going to read together and about all of the horror movies that I had been setting aside just for you?

I’m sorry that I let you down.

I could make excuses.  Perhaps it didn’t help that it was still in the 80’s for the beginning half of the month and that we were partially relying on the crisp, cool fall air to set the mood.  It probably didn’t help that we started with “The Horror Stories of Robert E. Howard” either.  Man, that was some racist and misogynistic shit wasn’t it, October?!  Seriously.  Trying to slog through that BS ate up almost a whole week before we finally threw in the towel.

But the reality is that I completely failed you.  So here’s what I was thinking:  If Hallmark can show Christmas movies whenever the hell they want, we can totally turn our Christmas into Halloween!  You know, because we’re totally rebels like that!  So I’ll see you in December, October.  Until then, hold the fond memories of “The Wicker Man”, “Count Magnus and Other Stories” and “Hex” close to your heart.

Review: “The Unsung Hero of Birdsong, USA” by Brenda Woods

Disclosure: This book was provided to me by Edelweiss free of charge in return for an honest and unbiased review. This book is scheduled to be released on January 08, 2019 by Nancy Paulsen Books.

I don’t usually read too many Middle Grade books.  I often find myself too far removed from the trials and tribulations of the preteen protagonists and can never quite relate.  Furthermore, since I do not have children of my own, I usually have a hard time connecting in even a secondhand, roundabout sort of way.  It’s slightly depressing to admit that I’ve gotten to an age where everyone younger than me is, “like, twelve”.

Here’s the thing:

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Review: “This Lie Will Kill You” by Chelsea Pitcher

Disclosure: This book was provided to me by Edelweiss free of charge in return for an honest and unbiased review. This book is scheduled to be released on December 11, 2018 by Margaret K. McElderry Books.

I have a confession to make.  I am a complete sucker for shows like “Pretty Little Liars” and “Harper’s Island”.  You know, the genre of show where I can yell, “Bitch, try locking your door!” and for one hour feel slightly superior that I would survive the wrath of a maniacal killer on a (twinkie induced, maybe?) rampage.  Let’s be real, though.  If I were in a similar situation, I would totally die.  I mean, I’m the comic relief.  I’d be the second person bumped off – hell, FIRST if all my Asian friends decided to stay home that evening.  Plus, I can’t even really run and power-walking away from a killer just isn’t going to get you very far even if it does prevent me from contracting a debilitating case of the tripsies.  That being said, I just can’t say no to a cheesy, teenybopper revenge thriller.

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One Sentence Reviews: June 2018

I have not been reading very many new releases lately.  I took one look at my bookshelves and realized that they had become a crowded, doubled-up nightmare and I decided to focus my attentions on the books that have been sitting in to-read limbo on my Goodreads since 2007.  So here it is!  The books that are no longer relevant and don’t warrant full, dedicated reviews with my thoughts on each nicely summed up in a single sentence.

star wars

“Star Wars: Into the Void” by Tim Lebbon

I can’t help but feel as if the Star Wars franchise has one story to tell and that they just keep retelling that one story over and over again.

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Review: “Renegades” by Marissa Meyer

Back when “Cinder” was first released, Marissa Meyer accomplished something that I didn’t think was possible:  She took a tired, overdone, overused trope (Cinderella) and breathed new life into it.  I thoroughly enjoyed “Cinder”.  It was fast paced and fun and had an abundance of likable characters.  So when I found out that Meyer’s next series was going to be superhero/villain themed, I was super stoked.  I love superheroes – even the corny old-timey ones who fight lame villains like Cheese Wheel Man or Foot Fetish Larry (these are totally real *wink*).

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Review; “Dread Nation” by Justina Ireland

Disclosure: This book was provided to me by Edelweiss free of charge in return for an honest and unbiased review. This book is scheduled to be released on April 03, 2018 by Balzer + Bray.

Can I just confess to you how much I love this cover.  I might be the only one who does this, but sometimes when I’m reading a book and it starts describing the main character, I will flip back and forth between the description and the cover just to see how on-point it is.  Needless to say, I’m usually disappointed.

Scoff.  She’s supposed to be a brunette not a blonde!  And why the hell is she walking a runway when it’s YA dystopian fantasy (Yeah, I’m looking at and judging you “Shattered”).  UGGGGH.  Slight temper tantrum ensues (And, yes, my tantrums do resemble those of Lucy from The Peanuts because I know that you were just dying to ask).

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Review: “The Hazel Wood” by Melissa Albert

Ok.  So we have a main character named Alice and there’s a fairytale world, The Hinterland, that she has to find her way to via the Hazel Wood (Of course it’s to rescue a loved one.  I swear!  Why do you always ask questions you already know the answers to?)  But I know what you’re thinking, “Jaime.  This is an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ retelling isn’t it?  C’mon.  You can tell me.  I won’t be angry.”

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Review: “City of Saints & Thieves” by Natalie C. Anderson

Tina’s mother was murdered and she knows exactly who pulled the trigger – Mr. Greyhill, her mother’s employer and father to Tina’s half-sister Kiki.  Since that tragic day, Tina a.k.a. Tiny Girl has been running the streets of Sangui City with a solitary goal – revenge.   By stealing for the local gang, The Goondas, she is able to scrape by and bide her time.  When a job opportunity takes her back to the scene of the crime, Tina is determined to finally exact her revenge on Mr. Greyhill.  There she is reunited with Michael, her childhood friend and Mr. Greyhill’s son.  With the help of Michael, Tina searches for the truth behind her mother’s murder and but she also begins to question whether or not she has her sights on the true killer.

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Review: “Starfish” by Akemi Dawn Bowman

“…you can’t spend your life trying to make a starfish happy, because no matter what you do, it will never be enough.  They will always find a way to make themselves the center of attention, because it’s the only way they know how to live.”

So let me get this off my chest:  I spent half of the book being angry for Kiko and I spent half of the book being angry at Kiko.  I realize that maybe I’m not being fair.  Kiko has not had an easy life:  She has a mother who is manipulative and verbally abusive, she suffers from severe social anxiety, and she was sexually abused by her uncle as a child (not a spoiler, even though they build it up like one.  The pervert uncle is mentioned in the summary).  Oh yeah, and she’s half-Japanese living in Nebraska, her father is pretty much absent and she is still pining over a boy who moved away 8 years ago (yup, EIGHT).  Let’s be honest:  Kiko is a hot mess.

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